How he feels now and as a family.

How do you feel when your father is not thinking about you? He's, oh, I would say he's much better. Yes, he's much better. Example, I'm not living with my parents and with my sister. When I'm coming, I can make smoothly conversation. I'm asking him, how are you? How you feel? Are you in the pain? And when my father is not thinking about how to speak, he's saying, I'm good, I am in the pain. Or example, he's saying, this doesn't work, still he's worrying about the arms. Yeah, like, sorry, he does understand a lot as well. Before he was asking a lot of question, like how long he was showing the hand, like why it doesn't work, how long it's gonna take. At this moment, I think so, he kind of understand the situation as well. The important is to support the person, not, you don't need to do really much, is enough to be next to this person and to explain, like, A lot of times my father, for example, he grabs the hand which doesn't work and starts crying. And I say to him a lot of times, okay, that this hand doesn't work, probably won't work either anymore. But remember, you got another hand, which is, you can use another hand now. Like we are Christian, we believe God. And a lot of times I say to my father, the God gave this one for a reason probably and you have to learn people have a really worse sickness in their life and or some people born without hand and they start living like this so sometimes just the words is really supportive for another person Because my father, my father have 13 grandchildren, so this is something like a little mushroom coming to the room. So he's trying to show up for them like I am still your grandpa. He used to be a really independent person, he was the head of the family, he was the proper grandfather, you know, pick up the grandchildren, put him on the leg, take him to the shop, he was driving a car, and at this moment I kind of understand everything goes down, like now he is dependent on someone. So the first one year he is on the depression tablet, so this is nothing to be ashamed of as well. I would understand this is everything in one day, basically, when he had a stroke, half of his body disappeared. And it's not just body, his brain, his speech, his understanding. So this is really a big change for the person who has a stroke. When we look at the person, we still don't really, we never will feel what the person does feel. But a lot of times I see my father is getting frustrated when he's trying to say something and he can't and at this moment we learn that because my mom she's taking care of him 24-7 and a lot of times he trying to have something for dinner and he's trying to tell us but he can't so So instead of showing to him like, okay, let it go, don't worry, we will make something. I always say to him, okay, let's wear shoes, let's go to kitchen, show me what you want. Like as my experience is important to make sure you don't act with the person like with child. Even he lost his speechness, his understanding, he is still a human and he is a grown up man. So of course he has at this moment a difficult time, like he lost a lot but still he deserves to be treated the right way as well. and like I mentioned my father is on the depression tablets and I think so there was a time which is he was really deep with his emotion like for the first time I saw my father was crying and he was crying over his body like why that this one doesn't work and I think so I am the only person in my family which is I'm not proud of this but I didn't had even one tears about my father's situation I think so the time when my father get a stroke everyone goes like what will be happen next and I think so I was the person which is I say okay happen happen we have to start learning how to live with this and make sure we give the most support to my father what he really needed and I don't want to forget it's not just about him, it's about as well my mum. I do understand my father is going with a really tough situation at this moment but as a carer when I see my mum look after my father and it's really hard job to do this as well, it's not easy like I will really say thank you to all of the carers who does look after a person with a stroke like heavy stroke or my like similar what my father had is really a big challenge because I do understand for my father is shocked how he lost everything in one day and is as well for the person who taking a responsibility of the person, how hard it is for her as well to take responsibility of a person who was independent basically.